One of the aspects of living with Fibro is ....well, it's like trying to figure out what you hit your elbow on because for the life of you, you can't figure out why it hurts. Did I hit a corner? Or a cabinet yesterday? Is there a bruise? What the hell did I do?
My left hand starting hurting four days ago and for the life of me, I could not figure out what I did or why it was hurting, but it felt like I had slammed it in a car door! Finally, my d.h. came to the conclusion yesterday (because I have been whining about it) that I must have hurt it carrying grocery bags in the house last week. I didn't even think about it, but like many Fibro symptoms, it jumped up when I wasn't paying attention.
Fibromites are very, very sensitive to their environments and the things that you (as a healthy person) wouldn't think twice about....like carrying grocery bags...affect us in ways not even we can always predict. I have lived with Fibro for a total of almost 9 years now, and truly the last five with full symptoms, and I still forget that I can't do something, or that I feel like crap because of the weather or my hormones. Once in awhile I still wake up thinking "what the hell...".
I told you, my faithful readers, earlier that we have days that we aren't as strong as we'd like to be, and it's hard and it's frustrating, and 'dammit...what did *I* do to deserve this?'. I tell my husband that it's one thing to be born with something and have it all your life. You don't know any different, not personally. But it's another to have it taken away from you because you used to be strong, and healthy, and able to move furniture if you felt like it.
Today, I'm feeling very tender...and pretty fed up. I'd like to hit the pause button on all of this and have a day off. I'd like to time travel back to when I was 17...just for a day, and be young and strong again. But then again...once you hit the back side of your thirties, wouldn't we all, right?
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