Wanted: Lots of hugs and hope

Everything is going to be okay. I keep telling myself everything is going to be okay, because right now I'm feeling a little like spaghetti. I've heard it said that men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti. Waffles have compartments and segregate what you put on them, or in them. Neat little squares that separate everything. Spaghetti gets all mixed up and wound up together. Every noodle is entangled in a bunch of other noodles and it ends up being one big ball, all bunched up together.

Right now I have a lot of stuff and I feel like spaghetti. If you've followed my blog for any length of time, you know I whine....sometimes...a little bit, when it all gets to be a lot to deal with. But right now I have A LOT. And I'm a little scared. And I wish I had parents. But I have really great friends, and wonderful kids, and a strong, awesome hubby. I just feel like this is a lot to put just on him right now though. So I'm asking for hugs, and hope.

I have five doctors right now. And procedures and blood tests and lots of needles scheduled over the next month. A primary care doc, a pain specialist, a pulmonologist, a urologist, and an allergist. I went to my urologist today and the good news is he is willing to jump right in and figure out what's wrong and ordered tests and procedures. The bad news is there is still an infection and blood in my urine and they don't know why. So I have blood tests and a CT with contrast and a cystoscopic procedure to schedule. That mans they are going to put me under a general anesthetic and take a look inside my urinary tract to see what the problem is.

I also have a thyroid panel, epidural shots, and allergy test coming up too. Two blood tests, three IVs, shots in my spine, and allergy tests. That's a lot of needles and I don't usually spook too easily, but I'm scared.

So, I know I'm a pain in the ass, and I know I'm whining a little bit, but I am asking for an extra prayer, or some good karma, or a little extra hope right now.

UPDATE:
My CT (with contrast, yuck) is at 6:30 am on the 4th.
My cystoscopy is the 9th, and as long as everything goes well, I should be able to come home that day. The doc will be taking a look in my urinary tract and taking biopsies/removing any kidney stones while he is in there.
My third and final set of epidural shots are on the 12th.

I'm pretty sure I'll be happy if I never see another needle again.

Is There A Plan?

So....Hubs and I just saw "The Adjustment Bureau" and it was one of those movies that I walked out of thinking that they might be just a little bit right. Just like when I saw "The Matrix" and I thought they might be on to something too. I know, I'm a freak. But if you've seen it, you're probably thinking .....they might be just a *little* bit right.

I have been writing a blog in my head for the last couple of days and the movie just tied right in. What if we meet people that are supposed to make a difference in our life? I met B over 20 years ago ....on a trip we both pretty much took to California for just that summer. Her father lived across the street from mine...and well, it was fate. =) I haven't seen her in over 20 years, but I love her just the same, and she is still one of my people.

I met Ging in Maine. On a whim, at the family picnic. Never saw her again until we both moved to Florida. And now she's my people.

I met C because out of ALL the wives hubs could have called to come get me because he couldn't, he asked her. We both wound up moving to Maryland, and now she is one of my best friends and the one that has stood by me when things got really, really hard. She is my people.

Crazy chances, all of them. But the most amazing story is me meeting and marrying the hubs. I met him before I knew it. But I had big, blond hair then and I smoked. Everything that he didn't like, but I made an impression and I was memorable. Then I went on with my life, moved around the country and finally met him again, and that was it. I have made all the difference in his life. He has made all the difference in mine.

So, if you've seen the movie (and if you haven't, I recommend you do), I pose this: What if you might be an agent for the plan and you don't know it? I have made a HUGE difference in my hubs life. I pushed (a little) to get married and I pushed (okay, a little more than a little) to have a baby. And it changed his whole world.

I have met people that have made all the difference to me. I have learned how to love. I have learned how to not walk away, even when things get rumbly. I have learned how to love someone like a sister even though I don't have siblings. And I have learned how to have a good friend, and how to be a good friend. All by chance. All just because someone walked into my life by fate, or circumstance. And these people have changed my life.

So, is there a plan that we don't know about? Have you ever wondered how a choice you made turned around on you?