Saturday, December 29, 2012

New Year's Resolutions...again


It's that time of year again. Time to resolve to do things that make you a better person, or a healthy person, or whatever it is that you're spending your time chasing. Last year I resolved to take it easier, forgive more, love easier, and write my book. I got some of it right. The years always seem to go faster than you think you will, and crap inevitably comes up that gets in the way of what you're trying to accomplish for the year.

2012 did not turn out to be the year I thought it would. It started out as an innocuous sounding year. I thought for sure it was going to be a mellow year. No big life changes scheduled, it sounded like the first "easy" year I was going to have in probably five years. HA! Not so much.

2012 was mean. She lied to me on her way in. I'm pretty sure she's good friends with Tuesdays. I didn't have any major changes on the schedule but it would seem that a great many people I care about got smacked in the face with some pretty huge changes. We had 4 couples in my family split up, lots of drama, a death in the family, and so many friends moved all over the damn country. Friends and acquaintances died. Cancer claimed so many lives this year and seemed to be everywhere. We as a nation faced shocking tragedies and political insanity. It was definitely the kind of year we'll all be glad to show out the door next week.

So here are my resolutions...or really my goals for the year. I like to examine life as the new year approaches  rather than as a birthday encroaches. I'm at the age that I'm willfully ignoring the gain in age that a birthday signifies.

1. Continue my belief in my chosen faith. For me, that means embracing the teachings of Buddha and seeking enlightenment and finding a more peaceful existence within myself.

2. Take the time to read. You can't write if you don't even take the time to read. And for me writing is like breathing. I'm a much calmer and happier Xunnie when I write. Even if it's just journaling and scribbling out all the noise in my head.

3. Make sure I tell the people I love that I love them and make sure they know it because life is always shorter than you think and you never have as much time as you think you do.

4. Be brave, but say and do everything with love and kindness in my heart. Strive to be compassionate. There's a vast shortage of compassion in the world.

5. Be honest, even if that means showing a little vulnerability.

6. In the midst of the insanity of life, make sure I take the time to travel to see those I love. (see #3)

7. Find more patience. I know I can do that by feeding my soul's need for quiet moments and good tea.

8. Find the everyday opportunities for kindness and connection. Listen to people more. There are some great stories waiting to be told.

9. Be organized, but not so much that I'm driving myself crazy trying to stay organized. Sometimes life is just meat to be lived, not worried about.

10. Live in the moment. Remember that the very best moments in life never show up announced or with any fanfare. Remember details, those are the things that will make you pause and smile years later.

11. And basically just give a fuck about things. Care. Engage. It will be worth it.

12. And maybe, hopefully, in the middle of the rest of living my life, find time to write the damn book.

These are the things I'm striving for as another year is upon us. What are your goals?

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

'Twas The Night After Christmas


Twas the night after Christmas
and all through the house
were boxes and wrappings
and bows strewn about.

The loot of the morning
had been all squirreled away.
The kitties had many
new toys with which to play.

My child tuckered out
and finally off to bed
with visions of DSs and
new clothes in her head.

And Papa in new jammies
and I with my new book
finally sat down
and had a good look.

The papers were crumpled
as you walked down the hall.
The boxes were stacked
along the back wall.

The food was all covered
and put away in the fridge.
Even after everyone poked in
and grabbed just a smidge.

Tomorrow would mean
cleaning up all the mess
but I simply sat right now
and smiled in my night dress.

How blessed we are!
How lucky, I think
surveying the mess
as I finish my drink.

Then off, up the stairs
to a good night's sleep.
It'll keep, I think
tomorrow I'll tackle the heap.

But for now, as I drift off
and start to dream
I'm grateful for so much
more than it might seem.

My kids are all healthy
and my family loves each other.
It was definitely a tough year
for us all to weather.

But today in the middle of celebrating
we just laughed and played
and enjoyed winter vacation.

So I hope that your family
got lots of new toys
and in the middle of unwrapping
found the real joys.

~CC2012