Music

It never ceases to amaze me when I think of how much power music has. It takes me right back to that time in my life that was enveloped by that song, that genre. I can listen to cross-over country from the 80's and be right back on Washington street in Vallejo, eight or nine years old. I can listen to Chris Deburg and be in eighth grade again. I hear hair bands and I'm 16, 17, 18 years old...young, strong, and free. I hear CCR and I'm standing in my garage in Florida, watching these huge, fat raindrops from a sudden summer rainstorm with my kids. I hear music from 2007 and I'm in the middle of moving from Maryland to Michigan and my life is a little upside down. I can be right there again, feeling how I felt when I heard that song. It's a blessing and a curse because I can be in my memory, but sometimes that is just agony.

I'm going through hell with my daughter right now. She's 18 and headstrong and making her own life decisions. It's hard because I love her so much and I don't want to see her stumble. I'd give anything....anything......to roll the clock back 10 years and be standing in that garage again with her, listening to CCR and watching the rain. It's incredible how quickly the time passes. The days and years seem to take forever sometimes, but then you blink and they're walking up the aisle to get their diploma...and they're gone.

I don't think everyone has that same connection to music. The ability to be transported back in time to the beat. Like I said it's a blessing and a curse. I love that I can hear a song and close my eyes and relive the best moments in my life, but I also hurt just as much if that song is connected to a painful memory. "I Believe" by Diamond Rio will always remind me of how I felt when I lost Angie, and "One Night At A Time" will always remind me of the first time my husband picked me up and took me out to a nice restaurant and then the 50th State Fair.

I love that music connects me to people, whether they are still in my life or not. If I miss someone that's now gone, either because they've passed on or simply moved on with their life, I can listen to something that brings them back for just a few minutes. But sometimes that works against me because I'll get caught off-guard by a song on the radio or just somewhere in my day and BOOM...I get hit with a memory, whether I wanted it or not.

It never ceases to amaze me that a beat and a melody have so much power.