Sunday, February 6, 2011

Life With Fibro....day 3220 or so...

I have Fibromyalgia. I know this because 20 doctors (or so) over the last 8 years (or so) have put me in every medical machine we've ever created, taken a gallon a blood to test, and run every test you or I could think of (and some we wouldn't think of) to arrive at the diagnonsense of Fibro. Basically because I have tested out of everything else there is and continued to tell them I hurt, something is wrong, and no - I'm not crazy.
That's how it is for those of us that suffer from something that the medical world is just beginning to understand. We get told we're nuts, it's in our head, it's just stress. We get accused of being drug seekers or addicts. It's not fun or easy, and it's not something that we chose. But it *is* the life we were given and we find unimaginable strength within ourselves to fight our own brains and try to live some kind of life.
Sometimes, we lose. We have days that we feel sorry for ourselves and ask "why me? what did I do to deserve this?". But for the most part, we find strength we never knew we had. I say -we- because there are about 4 million of us out there and I read the forums and the message boards, and one of my best friends also has Fibro, and the same sentiment is found in most of us.
So, this is my journey through life with something that some people don't understand, in hopes that more people will understand what Fibromyalgia is and what living with it is like. My husband is my caregiver on the really bad days, even if reluctantly at first. Because he, like you would have, didn't understand and wasn't sure he wanted the job. But he has been in and out of the hospital with me and found something within himself that he didn't know was there, or maybe that he might not have otherwise found. But it's there now and he cares for me, and most of his frustration comes from not being able to make it better.
The song "Her Diamonds" by Rob Thomas makes him think of me. Rob is rumored to have written that song for his wife, Mari, who suffers from Lupus, and it does a great job of describing what it's like to be a caregiver for someone who suffers and knowing there's nothing you can do. My d.h. says he always thinks about me when he hears that song.
So, please come along on my journey. Share this with your friends and family. Learn what Fibromyalgia is and what it's like to live with it.

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